Tag Archive | "Woodstock Festival"

In the Year 2054

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Among all of the music world’s one-hit wonders, Zager & Evans, the rock-pop duo formed by Denny Zager and Rick Evans in the early 60’s, is the first to pop into my mind.  Their hit recording, In the Year 2525, topped the Billboard charts in the U.S. for six weeks in 1969, a period during which popular culture was forever changed by two seminal events, the first manned moon landing by Americans Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin and the Woodstock Festival.

The song speculated about the nature of the future and mankind’s part in it traversing the period from the years 2525 to 9595.  Although not particularly original, the ideas expressed by the song’s lyrics – along with an email I received, stimulated my own thoughts about the future; albeit, a future not so distant as that portrayed in the song.

I have always been fascinated by the thought of time travel as a means of discovering how mankind’s past has shaped its present and future.  And so, I have traveled into the future – at least in my own mind, and now share with you some headlines from the year 2054.

In the news…

Statue of Liberty Displays New Signage: “Screw You, Blood Sucking Foreigners!”  Holds up Middle Finger in Lieu of Torch

Millions Die from Ozone Created by Electric Cars in the Recently Annexed Mexican State of California

Spotted Owl Plagues Northwestern U.S. Crops and Livestock

U.S. Postal Service Raises First-Class Stamp to $17.76, Reduces Delivery Schedule to Wednesdays

In world and interplanetary affairs…

France Pleads for Global Assistance after Takeover by Jamaica

Americans Jailed for Jumping U.S.-Mexican Border … Into Mexico!

Fidel Castro Finally Dies at Age 128 – Cuban Cigars Can Now Be Imported Legally, But President Chelsea Clinton Bans All Smoking

Sheiks Pay $500 per Gallon at Gas Pumps after Israel Levels Middle East.  Camel Market Soars.

Pollution on Mars Reaches Zenith in Wake of Mass-Human Migration

In science…

Scientists Cross Pigeons with Rats; New Yorkers Assaulted in Streets and on Roof Tops

Mutated Cats and Dogs Escape from Pharma-Testing Facility; Conduct Experiments on Humans

Baby Conceived Naturally! Scientists Stumped!!

Fountain of Youth Discovered in Peoria.  Nobody Jumps In!

In religion…

Roman Catholic Priest Renounces Vows, Leaves Church to Marry Choir Boy

Followers of the Late Harold Camping Post Billboards Guaranteeing the Lord’s Return on May 21, 2051

Jesus Finally Returns to Earth.  Says, “What a Mess!” and Ascends to Heaven

In politics…

George Z. Bush Announces Formation of Exploratory Committee for 2056 Presidential Run

Couple Petitions Supreme Court to Reinstate Heterosexual Marriage

U.S. Congress Votes to Increase Debt Ceiling to $20.4 Quadrillion

In entertainment…

Dick Clark’s Mummified Corpse to Host This Year’s New Years Rockin’ Eve; Larry King to Co-Host

Suri Cruise, Daughter of Tom and Katie, Establishes Roman Catholic Convent

Chaz Bono Enters Monastery After Reversing Sex Change Operation in His … Her … Golden Years

Daughter of the Late Lady Gaga, Lady GooGoo, Shocks Music World by Performing Fully Clothed!!! 

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