When the person of your dreams strolls into your life and the feeling is mutual, you decide to “jump the broom,” as they say in Africa. In the U.S., we call it taking wedding vows and pull out all the stops to create a day of storybook nuptials. In order to ensure that all boded well on the day that two souls deigned to be joined, many superstitions and rituals have sprung up over the years and indeed, the centuries.
One involves the wedding ring itself. Superstition stated that a band too tight portended a suffocating partnership; conversely, a ring too loose symbolized a sloppy union that could potentially dissolve. Another legend says that if the ring is dropped, it can be either good luck or bad, while another states that a ring that hits the floor will shake out the bad spirits to create a happy union. Still others insist that whoever drops the ring will be the first among the wedding party to die. Loose lips may sink ships but slippery fingers could spell a death knell!
Dreamed up no doubt by a wily mother-in-law, another ritual for the future groom is to present his prospective mother-in-law with a diamond ring simultaneous to the time his beloved receives her own engagement ring. This custom was designed to establish a congenial relationship with the in-laws, but I think its true intent was to fatten their coffers. Another widespread superstition warns that bride-to-be not allow another woman to try on her engagement ring, because the other woman could steal the groom!
According to ancient beliefs, getting married in a white dress had nothing to do with symbolizing the bride’s virginity. In days gone by, it was difficult to find pristine white cloth. In order to obtain it, fabric was bleached a number of times to bring it as close as possible to the color of fresh-fallen snow. Since the process was time consuming and the bleach a bit costly, the whiter the dress, the more affluent the family was shown to be. There is also a saying, “If white is worn, you have chosen [your mate] right.”
Wedding gowns should never be fashioned by brides because it is said that as the number of stitches she sews will equate to the number of tears shed during the marriage. Getting blood on your dress is also a bad sign. And by no means should a bride allow her intended to see her in the wedding dress before she walks down the aisle: that is an omen of bad luck brewing.
Forget the old wives’ tale about birds exploding if they eat the rice tossed at a newly wedded couple; rice is a staple among the diets of many birds in Asia. Grains of rice are a symbol of well wishes from the guests, so that the couple may enjoy prosperity and fertility. Other hopeful nudges for fertility are the rose petals strewn upon the wedding aisle, symbolizing the pitter patter of little feet to be heard throughout the house.
With everyone dressed in their finery, looking forward to a lovely day and many keepsake photographs, no couple wants rain to fall on their wedding day. Going to great lengths to ensure sunny skies, some folks place a statue of the Virgin Mary on windowsills, while others hang rosary beads on clotheslines. If it does rain, one bit of lore states that many raindrops herald many children for the new couple. On the other hand, some people feel that rain will make the bride shed tears throughout an unhappy marriage. However, if a bride cries during wedding, it is thought to be good luck because she will leave her tears at the altar and not carry them into her marriage.
In the Jewish tradition, knives must not be given as wedding gifts. If they are, the bride should pay a nominal fee for them, to ensure a happy future. Brides are not supposed to sign their married names before the actual ceremony because such an act is thought to tempt fate and bring a cancellation of the wedding. Tying tin cans to the bumpers of newlyweds’ cars is a ritual said to drive away evil spirits, I suppose with the clanking cans, as the couple makes their get away.
In days of old, honeymoons used to last as long as one full month! Instead of celebrating with champagne as we do here in America, European couples and their guests imbibed a fermented honey drink called hydromel. However, those who want to enjoy their honeymoon should drink in moderation. They do not want to end up like Attila the Hun, who was rumored to have drunk himself to death at his wedding fete!
If some of these precautions seem rather farfetched and outdated, consider, then the omens received by a woman I know, who chose to ignore all the signs in this true tale. Said woman and her intended husband were to have been married by a justice of the peace. But when they arrived at his office, they were told that the man had just been carted off to the hospital with symptoms of a heart attack. That alone should have been a warning to the couple. Because the justice’s ailment was not as serious as the heart attack he’d feared, he returned to his post two weeks later. So did the couple; they were promptly married. Less than twenty-four hours later, the building in which they’d been joined burned to the ground! Needless to say, the marriage ended in divorce just a few short years later.
So, if you’re contemplating tying the knot, forget about black cats crossing your path. Remember, instead, the warnings of old. And if your minister, priest, or civil servant begins to clutch his heart during your ceremony, hike up your wedding train and run!
