The word “vacation” is synonymous with escape and freedom; it smacks of leaving our jobs and other stress-inducers in the dust. In wringing the most from our few prized days of vacation, we are faced with the choice of enjoying them with our families or going it alone, including the issues that both scenarios present.
For example, if you opt for sanity far removed from Disney World, Hershey Park, or other kid-friendly vacation spots, you must entrust your children to the care of a responsible adult. Good luck to you in finding such an individual (you would have enough trouble finding people to watch your pets when out of town).
If you are married, your options are a bit stickier because of the assumption that lovebirds always vacation together. Because I myself am directionally challenged, it’s pretty much a given that my husband will tag along on any long distance adventures. In reality, there are times when I would prefer to imitate the late actress Veronica Lake by deadpanning, “I want to be alone.”
Solo jaunts would be free of the nagging about when and where I will spend our family’s money or whom I plan to visit. Returning alone to my hometown would be especially delightful as I could revisit my old haunts in peace. This would include reconnecting with people from my past without incurring an Inquisition conducted by my significant other who, in reality, has no grounds for jealousy.
A vacation away from the spouse would mean that I could roll out of bed at leisure and not have to cook breakfast (that’s why God invented McDonald’s). I could make my own choices about my daily excursions. On vacation, I like creating little adventures such as exploring a cave, visiting the zoo, or spending some enjoyable time in a museum. It would be easier to do these things on my own; like most married couples, my husband and I do not always see eye to eye on our vacation jaunts.
On the other hand, a joint vacation can and often has been a wonderful bonding experience. Setting off with my husband makes it seem as if we are embarking upon a second honeymoon, blending romance with fun.
Taking separate vacations may seem a bit unorthodox, but sometimes, there is truth in the adage, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” Partners do not always necessarily share the same interests. Being married does not automatically mean that you agree on what constitutes fun. Hiking, hunting, fishing, golfing, or just being a potato on your own couch will appeal to some people, but not everyone. Others may prefer the beach, swimming, skydiving, or following a beloved musician for a certain leg of a concert tour. If one person is not interested in what the other chooses, the vacation is pretty much pointless if the other half of the couple is unhappy.
Before setting out on a trek all by your lonesome, you may wish to consider this advice:
- Your marriage must be strong enough to weather a temporary separation; your partner must trust you totally and vice versa. Communication, caring, and compromise are key.
- Discuss things with your partner to ensure that separate vacations do not put you in a financial bind.
- If you love your mate, don’t put yourself in a situation where an infidelity might occur. Enjoy yourself with good friends who will be protective of you, and stay sober while doing so.
- Reach out frequently to your spouse while you are away. In other words, show your significant other some consideration.
Whether or not you vacation separately, be sure to have a safe trip and a good time.
