Letting each other have a little space is an important ingredient in the recipe of any successful relationship, particularly those of the romantic and/or spousal variety. Some people just don’t grasp this simple concept, so eloquently phrased as the old adage, “Familiarity breeds contempt.” Technology has now made familiarity a lot more widespread, in the form of constant text messaging, IM’s, PM’s, emails, and cell phones messages. Even if one half of a couple manages to escape for a few hours, she never really escapes when technology, driven by a jealous, neurotic, or plain ol’ demanding significant other drives it.
Personally, I enjoy a little downtime when my husband “loosens up the reins.” I like to go out on my own at times and browse around the malls to my hearts content without interruptions from my bored to tears husband. After all, women are gatherers, and therefore, must gather merchandise unto ourselves! Before we tied the knot, my husband and I used to enjoy more time to ourselves. We also opened our lives to include other people more frequently than we do now. Although our marriage is secure, it’s good to know that we can each function independently and through that independence, follow safe and enjoyable pursuits. A little alone time is good for the soul; no one wants to feel like a mouse cornered by a big, salivating cat.
Love and trust must exist in order to sustain a compatible partnership. On occasion, I have heard some women tittering, saying, “If my man does not straighten up, I will just cut him off in the bedroom!” Maybe this tactic empowers some women, but in my estimation, it is just borrowing trouble. Truly, my mental image of situation is laughable, since I don’t understand how or why some men allow themselves be led about as if they are sporting a ring through their nose, or perhaps more accurately, another body part. I guess some men really do think with their nether regions. My husband would get a kick out of these withholding tactics; he himself would proceed to just hold out!
But why hold out when it is so much more pleasant to simply enjoy the benefits of time spent apart from each other? One major advantage is that, when you reunite, there is more excitement in seeing each other. You bring new experiences into the relationship by sharing your day with the one who was not there firsthand. Without these new experiences, it is easy to become bored with each other.
If you constantly question your partner about his or her whereabouts, you are setting the stage for jealousy to rear its ugly head. Fights ensue. And arguments are never healthy for a relationship if they are driven by one’s need to dominate the other.
Every man and woman in a loving relationship needs a day or night out on the town once in awhile, even if it is just to enjoy lunch with friends, see a movie, or browse the shops in the mall. The sanctity of a good relationship should not be destroyed by a spouse’s fear and anger engendered by a brief separation from his or her partner.
Being insecure is detrimental to marital or any other type of relational bliss that relies upon trust. No one wants to feel as if they are prisoners in a relationship. If one person feels trapped, he or she will often turn to dishonesty for a little respite. Others will turn to manipulation, misusing the concept of “love” to get their way. As the Bible says, “Love is not selfish.” Love does not utilize subterfuge or exploitation; it does not track down the other person as if they are prey to be hunted. Every sane human being requires his or her own space every now and then. If you are guilty of smothering you partner, beware, for your conduct may backfire in the worst possible way. You may wind up killing the relationship for good and finding yourself alone permanently, not just for a few days or an evening.
