Tag Archive | "relationships"

Break Up to Make Up…A Game for Fools?

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Why do we have on again-off again relationships?  We break up only to make up:  it truly is a game for fools!  Is it because we just can’t seem to dissociate from this person or is it something about that person that is just comfortable and natural?  Have you ever found yourself in an on again-off again relationship, going back and forth and back and forth with the same person?  For those of you that can’t relate, you may only with difficulty be able to comprehend this type of thing.  Surely, you are asking yourself why some of your friends keep going back to that same guy?  However, for those of you, like me, that have gone through this kind of love rollercoaster, undoubtedly you can relate!


So let’s face it, breaking up is never a happy situation.  In fact, it normally sends us girls running to the tissue box, pulling out old sappy movies while burying our head in a tub of ice cream.  Life pretty much becomes a 24 hour-7 day a week pity party thrown by us!  We feel hopeless, lost, confused, and just plain sad!  So why would a break up ever be a good thing for a relationship?  Well, that’s where the making up part comes in.


It always seems that just when we are starting to recover from a break up and are just about to reach the “moving on” point is when we revert back to what’s comfortable – the old relationship.  No matter what the reason is for “relationship take 2 or 3,” we fall right back into what was natural for us before.  We begin to justify to ourselves and each other why this 2nd or 3rd chance is a good idea.  Maybe, it was because we were lonely, or maybe, a few bad dates made us feel like we made a mistake leaving the old relationship behind.


Whatever the case may be, the good part of breaking up (if you even want to call any part of breaking up “good”) would be the making up.  This is the time when you both express how much you have missed each other and apologize to each other endlessly.  In addition, it is likely that you both are making empty promises of “never letting another break up happen again!”  Who doesn’t love this kind of raw emotion and the passion of it all behind a dramatic reunion between two ex lovers?!  We thrive off of it…but what is missing that keeps us repeating this vicious cycle?


I suggest that now is the time that you take a serious step back from your situation and reevaluate.  No matter what this relationship brings you, something has got to give.  You have to build up the courage to get yourself out of the rut with the intention that history should not repeat itself.  If your relationship is truly going nowhere, open yourself to the possibilities of life and other relationships.  Perhaps, realizing that a piece of the puzzle is missing, even after all the times you both have tried, will help you both make that move ahead.  Clearly, all of the break ups have shown that you are not on the same page.  Allow each other the time and space needed to discover whatever it is that you are seeking and find peace in your decision to break free. 


Maybe I don’t have all the answers or the answer for which you are searching, but I have been through this kind of relationship and it’s not easy to walk away, especially when your heart is involved.  However, there comes a point in this kind of relationship when you just have to realize this is best for both parties involved and you just have to let go.  You never know – it may lead you back to each other with a new perspective you hadn’t had before and put you both on the same page for the first time.  It could also lead you both to new people and the lives you were each seeking in your on again-off again relationship.  Either way, do what is best for you and don’t be afraid of change.  Sometimes, life has a weird way of teaching us lessons, but you have to be open to them to see the result.  Allow time to heal you both, and change to come your way.  Then maybe, just maybe, you will find what you were looking for all along.

What’s He Thinking?



Have you ever stopped and wished you could know what someone else is thinking? It’s no secret that women and men have been wondering for years what the other is thinking, especially when it comes to relationships.


Better yet, have you ever wondered about someone else’s intentions toward you?  Well, when it comes to our Whine and Wine’s, relationships are constantly a topic of conversation, and we all love to vent about them.  No matter your relationship status -  married, in a commited relationship, or single and dating, we are always wondering what the other is thinking. 


Relationships are complicated in this regard, because even when questions are being asked and you feel like the other is being open and honest, there is still that little bit of worry that you aren’t getting the whole truth.  Maybe, your partner is sparing you the brutal details of their truth so they won’t hurt your feelings.  Maybe, you are being completely honest and still get your feelings hurt because the other is looking at you as if you are hiding something.  No matter what the case is, haven’t we all felt this way one time or another in our lives?


We think that all of our past experiences in dating have led us to how we act in our current relationships.  If you were hurt or lied to in your past, you may carry that into a future relationship.  Maybe, you had great experiences with being open and honest in the past and are currently with someone who just isn’t that way and its affecting you.  No matter what your situation is, we think everyone runs across these kind of issues in their relationships. The question is:  how do you get past this?


This week we want to hear what our readers think about this subject.  We will be posting our opinions on these topics as well.  We want to give our own advice as well as seek advice from you.  Like we always say, there’s no better way to get and give advice on our everyday lives then venting and talking with friends!

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