Tag Archive | "pick-up lines"

Valentine’s Beware! More Lame Pickup Lines

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On Valentine’s Day, love is in the air.  Those of us with spouses or significant others mark the date with gifts, dinners, and romance.


But, what of those who do not have loves in their lives?  For those finding themselves in this position, Valentine’s Day can be a lonely day indeed (isn’t “one the loneliest number?).


Well, whether or not you have a love in your life, here are some more lame pickup lines of which you can beware or be snared:


  1. Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?
  2. There must be something wrong with my eyes.  I can’t take them off you.
  3. Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!
  4. You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.
  5. Somebody better call animal control, because I just spotted a fox.
  6. I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?
  7. Someone pass the tartar sauce, because you are quite a catch.
  8. Can I take a picture of you, so I can show Santa what I want most for Christmas?
  9. I’m not drunk, I’m intoxicated by you.
  10. Baby, you’re so sweet you put Hershey’s out of business!
  11. Help the homeless: take me home with you.
  12. Your lips look lonely.  Would you like to meet mine?
  13. Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.
  14. Hi, I’m Mr. Right.  Someone said you were looking for me.
  15. Life without you would be like a broken pencil… pointless.
  16. Are you religious? Cause you are the answers to all my prayers.
  17. Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?
  18. Here I am!  Now, what were your other two wishes?
  19. You’re like a dictionary: you add meaning to my life.
  20. You know, Dr. Phil says I’m afraid of commitment.  Want to help prove him wrong?
  21. I hope you know CPR, cause you take my breath away.
  22. I lost my Teddy Bear.  Can I sleep with you?
  23. If you were bubblegum, you’d be babelicious.
  24. You remind me of a compass, because I’d be lost without you.
  25. When God made you, he was showing off.


Happy Valentine’s Day! 

Lame Pickup Lines

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Lame Pickup Lines

Have you ever wondered why male birds are always more brightly colored than the females?   The answer is both simple and ingenious.  Nature has equipped the males with dazzling plumage with which to attract their ladybirds and thereby ensure the continuance of the species.

 

Nature has not been so kind to homo sapiens.  Lacking glorious feathers, human males on the prowl often operate only with their tongues.  Forgetting to engage their brains in the process, many have been known to drop the most inane lines upon women.   When I spoke with several men to ask them about the lamest lines they have ever used, some confessed that they had been a few sheets to the wind at the time, while others confided that that they were just trying to initiate a conversation (yeah, right).  The more honest mashers said that they just wanted to see if the lines worked!  Of course, I was then “treated” to some of the worst come-ons I have ever heard.    As the saying goes, misery loves company, so I am now sharing them with you:

 

1.        Yo, sweetheart, I’m like American Express. You don’t want to leave home without me.
2.        Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.
3.        I was blinded by your beauty, so I’m going to need your name and number for insurance reasons. 
4.        You know what would look great around you?  My arms.
5.        Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world?
6.        If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put “U” and “I” together.
7.        I may not be a genie, but I can make your dreams come true.
8.        Baby, I’m no Fred Flintstone but I can make your Bedrock!
9.        Can I have your autograph?  Weren’t you in the movie Pretty Woman?
10.      Are you from Tennessee?  Because you are the only ten I see!
11.       Do you know karate?  ‘Cause your body is really kickin’.
12.      Want to come see my hard drive?
13.      Are you a parking ticket?  You’ve got “fine” written all over you.
14.      My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.
15.      Is your name Pepsi?  Because I gotta have it.
16.      Hi.  The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.
17.      Pardon me, miss, I seem to have lost my phone number.  Could I borrow yours?
18.      If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
19.      Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!
20.      I’m not drunk; I’m just intoxicated by you.
21.       If looks could kill, you would be a weapon of mass destruction.
22.      Do you believe in the hereafter?  You do? Well, then I guess you know what I’m here after.
23.      I hope there’s a fireman around, ’cause you’re smokin’!
24.      If you were a new burger at McDonalds, you would be McGorgeous!
25.      Lets make like a fabric softener and snuggle.

 

So, for you fearless and clueless men seeking to act like Venus flytraps in the presence of women, you are now equipped to do so, courtesy of the above “nuggets of wisdom.” 

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