The decision to place a wedding band on your finger is a very personal choice.  Although the wedding band is a universal symbol, the meaning behind that symbol varies from individual to individual and from couple to couple.  Down through the ages, wedding rings have been symbols of commitment and undying love.  Worn on the third finger of the left hand (excluding the thumb), its placement is significant as the artery leading to that finger links directly to the heart.   And the circle itself signifies a beginning with no end.

Ancient Egyptians believed that the wedding band suggested the joining of two halves, creating a hole in the center which itself denoted the gateway into the future.  Some couples, however, never have much of a future, for they interpret the traditional marriage contract in a totally new light.  Why do some people choose the act of marriage when their heart is not really in it?  How does the sanctity of their vows become defiled and twisted for other purposes?

For example, what is the true benefit of an open marriage?  I find the very term an oxymoron.  Why get married at all if you wish to engage in sexual acts with others, and allow your spouse to do the same?  Such a perspective, within the bonds of matrimony, tells me that neither party has a modicum of respect for the other.  Sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies are but the most obvious drawbacks to an open marriage.  Diminished self esteem, jealous rages, and even dwindling bank accounts number among the side effects (imagine the financial impact of having to impress a new mate?).  Worst of all, the intimacy between husband and wife must be shattered when the relationship expands to include a third person or even multiple bed partners.

Partnering with someone for no reason other than to merge your cumulative assets is also a poor excuse for entering into marriage.  Blue bloods who wish their families to remain in elite social circles enjoy the idea of maintaining their financial status within the community and living the life of the rich and/or famous.  On the surface of things, the couple who has everything may appear to be happy.  But are they, really?  If people marry for money rather than love, I would think that both parties must feel lonely and used.  Where love might have thrived, there is nothing but a hole that can never be filled.

“Lavender marriages” occur when two people of different sexual orientations take wedding vows together.   The primary reason for this choice is to disguise gay and lesbian preferences and thus maneuver more easily within the community-at-large. The heartthrob of the ’20′s silent films, Rudolph Valentino, was purported to have entered into this type of marriage.  During Valentino’s heyday, homosexuality was not as accepted as it today; anyone living under Hollywood’s exacting microscope had to protect his or her reputation and thus ensure the longevity of his/her career.  Although we may seem to have come a long way socially since the Roaring Twenties, there remains much conflict over the legalization of same-sex marriages.   As long as societal taboos remain against unions perceived to be unnatural, we will continue to have loveless “lavender marriages.”

Then, of course, there are those who want younger, hipper, prettier, or more handsome partners.  Whether wrestling mid-life crises or wanting to one-up their friends and business associates (human nature often loves to instill jealousy in others), many men prefer gorgeous trophy wives hanging on their arms.  Such men eschew the more confident, intellectually and emotionally mature women for hard bodies that look perfect when poured into Spandex.   On the opposite side of the coin are the so-called cougars: older women out for young studs to replace the aging nincompoops who tossed them aside for the brainless bimbos.  

In the final analysis, wedding bands are simply adornments for your fingers, indications to the world at large that you hold a marriage license. The reality of the sentiments behind the wedding band lies in one’s actions throughout his or her married life.  A genuine and happy marriage is a lifelong pact that you embrace, respect, and nurture.  Without real love, a wedding band is simply another piece of jewelry.