As the year 2011 comes to a close, the world teeters on the precipice of major changes. 2011 witnessed the virtual collapse of the European Union and its currency, the Arab Spring, America’s debt crisis and ongoing economic woes, and a host of meteorological, climatic, and geological calamities – even in areas of the world not prone to such events.
As 2012 beckons, many perceive that the planet and mankind are faced with an imminent transformational moment – signaling either the end of this world, creation of a new plane of existence, or both. Whether one chooses to reference the Holy Bible, the Mayan calendar, or any of a host of other ancient or modern traditions and writings, 2012 has the potential to provide us with the answers to mysteries, including:
Who will be the 45th President of the United States?
Will the Phillies win another World Series?
Is Certs a candy mint or a breath mint?
So, hold onto your hats and prepare for some turbulence as I attempt to predict some of the secrets that will be revealed during 2012.
Following a surprisingly strong finish in the Iowa Caucuses and a blowout victory in the New Hampshire Primary, Mitt Romney establishes himself as the presumptive nominee en route to capturing the Republican nomination for President of the United States. At his party’s convention in Tampa, Florida, Romney tabs New Jersey Governor Chris Christie as his running mate, and they go on to defeat the Barack Obama – Hillary Clinton ticket in a close General Election.
European austerity measures fail to bolster the plummeting euro leading to deep divisions and ultimate dissolution of the European Union. Ripple effect of European crisis, combined with lower U.S. company earnings reports and Middle Eastern crude oil supply disruptions, causes steep declines in American stocks with the Dow Jones Industrial Average (DJIA) falling below 7,500 in the late spring. The U.S. double-dips into recession and unemployment again climbs over 9%.
The election of Vladimir Putin to again serve as Russian President is marred by claims of vote fraud and the cause of significant civil unrest; causing the newly-elected President to deploy the army to quell public demonstrations and riots. In the Middle East, Iran continues to flex its muscles, threatening the use of nuclear weapons against Israel and seizure of control over shipping lanes for exportation of crude oil. In Egypt, Islamic fundamentalists gain control, impose Sharia Law, and repudiate agreements with Israel and the United States. The Arab Spring continues as the Syrian regime is toppled in late summer.
DreamWorks Pictures’ War Horse wins Best Picture honors at the 84th Academy Awards, along with an Oscar for Director Steven Spielberg. The ridiculous trend toward “reality television” continues as cable networks scour the country for oddballs, unemployed celebrities, and people who have made and leaked sex tapes on the Internet to star. In related news, following a whirlwind courtship, Kim Kardashian marries former Major League Baseball star and admitted steroid user Jose Canseco, earning twice the $17 million she raked in for marrying Kris Humphries. Admitting that the Ashton Kutcher experiment failed miserably, CBS cancels Two and a Half Men following dramatic ratings declines. Charlie Sheen continues “winning.”
In a Super Bowl XLVI shootout, the New England Patriots best the Green Bay Packers 36-31. March Madness finds Jim Boeheim again a winner. Capping a season of turmoil at the Syracuse University campus, the Orange defeat the Missouri Tigers 72-61 to win the NCAA Men’s Basketball Tournament. In the NBA, the strike-shortened season may have been the charm as the Miami Heat sweep the defending-champion Dallas Mavericks in the NBA Finals. In the NHL, Beantown celebrates as the Boston Bruins take home the Stanley Cup by winning the deciding seventh game in their series with the Detroit Redwings. And in Major League Baseball, the Philadelphia Phillies top the Anaheim Angels to win the 2012 World Series in six games.
Millennial and Otherworldly Events
Jesus returns on Pentecost Sunday, May 27, to commence his millennial reign. On December 21, visitors from the planet Nibiru return to commemorate the calendar they taught to the Mayans.
Those are my predictions, and, I might add, not one of them is the least bit farfetched (except perhaps for the Kardashian-Canseco nuptials). In fact, I think it’s highly likely that they’ll all occur exactly as outlined. Think not! Then, let me know. At year’s end, if I’m still around, we’ll score the results. Happy New Year, or not.