I am not sure if you have noticed.  Perhaps if you had been born into my generation, you have.  But if you are a younger person (and, like all things, that term “younger” is relative), you may not have noticed the turning tide or what that tide has left on the shoreline of our society.  You see, women seem to have embraced a more masculine side and guys seem to have found their feminine side. The other day while working at my customer service job, a lady entered my place of business … at least, I came to the conclusion that it was a lady.  I had to inquire of someone else, asking, “Hey do you think that customer was a man or a woman?”  The woman I had queried took a second look to try to figure it out.  The first gender-suspect customer was the second person in the same 24 hours to leave me scratching my head as to their sex.  Here’s why…

Women today seem to be getting their hair cut shorter and shorter; some favor military or flattop styles.  In days gone by, a woman’s hair was her crowning glory; its length was a thing of pride. Piled atop a woman’s head, it allowed her to look elegant out in public, particularly at special events.   When women began to bob their hair in the early 1930′s, one artist was moved to create a song that became oh so popular at the time.  Its chorus went, “Please don’t bob your hair, girls, please don’t bob your hair!”   Well, women ignored that plea.

On the opposite side of the coin, men began growing their hair longer, leaving in the dust the trusty neighborhood barber who gave the same short cut to every man and boy.  Now many men frequent the same salons as their wives, girlfriends, and sisters, demanding not only the latest styles but also hair coloring and perms. Men are also accessorizing their hair with colorful beads a la the Stevie Wonder look as well as “scrunchies,” which were once reserved as adornments for women’s tresses.  Men now have as many styling products sitting on their bathroom shelves, as do ladies.  A comb and a “little dab’ll do ya” used to be their most essential tools, but now it is hair gels, hair spray, mousse, round styling brushes, and blow dryers.

Another thing that I have noticed is the amount of jewelry that guys wear these days.  No longer is men’s jewelry confined to a simple gold chain, a wedding band, a class ring, and of course, a watch.  Now they are wearing more bling than Mr. T, the character on the old TV series, the A-Team, who wore so much gold around his neck, he appeared to have stripped a mine clean of its ore.  With their ears pierced several times, men now wear not only an earring in each ear but several flashy pieces in each ear!   The weight of some of the necklaces being worn now by men leads me to wonder if consultations with chiropractors are on the rise.  Rings are worn on every finger as well as the thumb. Timex watches are old news; now fake Rolexes are in.  The more faux diamonds the better and the more gizmos the watch has, the better.

Another adornment that has changed with the times is the hat.  Hats used to be a status symbol.  The more expensive or fancier the hat, the greater was the wearer’s importance in society, including his or her economic stability.  In the Edwardian age, fortunes were spent creating exotic hats with plumes.  It was not considered proper etiquette to be seen in public with one’s head uncovered by a hat and one’s hands bare of that other genteel affectation, gloves.  Women used to spend much time and money at the milliner shop to have new hats created for special occasions and to usher in a changing season.   Nowadays, the Kentucky Derby is the last bastion where fancy headwear is displayed.  When ladies have a bad hair day now, we are more likely to finger comb it, tie it back, and jam a baseball cap on our heads.  Sometimes, we throw an old beret on or, much more rarely, wrap a scarf around our heads.

The application of cologne is another thing that has really made a big difference in the male population.  So much for the exclusive use of Right Guard and Brut to keep the odor away and attract the ladies.  Gone are the days when men used to just slap on a little Old Spice or Aqua Velva and be good to go.  Did you know that in World War II, because it had such a high alcohol content, Aqua Velva was sometimes used as a substitute for an alcoholic beverage?  Now guys need more expensive brands such as Calvin Klein, Versace and Giorgio Armani.  Perfume used to be pretty much a female thing. Women are now wearing the woodsy and spicy scents and getting away from the floral and flowery smells.  If you don’t believe me, open any mail order catalogue that features scents for both sexes (i.e., Caldwell Massey, Yves Rocher) and feast your eyes upon the plethora of scents available, including those that are unisex! 

And how about guys who polish their nails?  I’m not just talking about modern day Goths whose fingertips are painted black.  The manicures for men began with the advent of leisure suits.  One snag on a pure polyester jacket or pair of trousers and the suit was never the same (and I say bravo to that, for sky blue or lemon yellow poly is just not right on a man).   A professional manicure ensured that ragged cuticles and sharp nails did not ruin the almighty synthetics.  Somehow, though, I still get taken aback a little when I look at a guy’s hands to find them all shiny with clear polish or buffed to within an inch of their lives.   It just seems a bit weird because we think of a man’s hands as being big and a bit rough: working men’s hands.  As women’s hands are usually perceived as delicate and small, we expect to see nail polish on the ladies.

Men have become more impeccable with their grooming habits.  No longer being satisfied with the old soap on a rope or a good bar of Ivory or Irish Spring, they now frequent spas to get facials, waxings, eyebrow shaping, seaweed wraps, sugar scrub facials, and even removal of … ewww … nose and ear hair.  Men receive as much enjoyment from pampering treatments as do the ladies when they want to rid themselves of a little stress and emerge looking like pea hens, and peacocks.   The modern man now also likes to indulge in a fragrant shower gel or, ahhhhh, an old fashioned bubble bath.

Also, guys seem to enjoy wearing makeup.  Look at how popular Adam Lambert from last season’s American Idol became.  Overt use of mascara, eyeliner, and God knows what else did not stop him for garnering enough votes to land in the Number Two spot.   Middle America voted for him!   Men have facial flaws just like women, and just like women they cover those with foundation products. Other males enjoy being cross-dressers and sometimes when they are out in full regalia, an innocent bystander cannot tell the difference between a transvestite and a real live woman.   As with Adam Lambert who is by no means the only male public figure embracing cosmetics, makeup is used by males to make them look good for the TV cameras. Since men like to look tanned and toned, they use self tanning sprays, too.

So prevalent are these practices that country music superstar, Brad Paisley’s, wrote a hit song about them, entitled, “I’m Still a Man.”  Some of the lyrics are:

“Nowadays there’s dudes gettin’ facials,
Manicured, waxed and Botoxed.
Spray-on tans and creamy lotion-y hands
That can’t grip a tackle box.
With all of these men linin’ up to be neutered,
It’s hip now to be feminized!”

Clothes have been another big adjustment in gender-bender land.  While women lean toward dressing more like guys with heavy work boots, camouflage togs and even boxer shorts, men are balancing the scales by introducing more color in their wardrobes and stocking their closets with the same number of shoes that once made female clothes horses the butt of many jokes.  Like women, men are becoming more aware of what a vital accessory a good pair of shoes is to pulling together the right look.  It used to be popular for men to just wear a solid or a plaid; now they are not embarrassed to wear all the colors in the rainbow.  The male of the species is getting more flamboyant in his dressing habits, with fancier shirts and even the popular brand-named jeans.  I have also heard that many men enjoy wearing ladies undergarments because they enjoy that silky feeling “down under.”   

The ultimate accessory, and one of the most expensive are, of course, eye glasses or rather, eye glass frames.   Simple black frames or wire rims have given way to designer styles featuring flashy colored frames with or without decorations.  Some men also eschew the traditional briefcase in order to tote what looks suspiciously like a woman’s handbag, the “manbag.”  Men also now seem to enjoy talking on the phone more and texting friends.  This used to be a female stereotype.  We now have to revise the concept behind the Yiddish word, “yenta,” which was once reserved solely for women who talk too much.

The moral of this tale is, “Tread with caution before you address someone with the salutation of sir or madam, because you may have to bite your tongue when you realize that you are mistaken.”