Tag Archive | "intelligence"

What’s Your IQ?

Tags: , , , , ,

What is your first thought when you hear the word intelligence?  Webster defines intelligence as:

  1. The ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations (to reason)
  2. The ability to apply knowledge to manipulate one’s environment or to think abstractly as measured by objective criteria

In the case of, “Who shot Osama bin Laden?” the intelligence factor was a carefully crafted CIA plan to seek out and destroy the self-proclaimed architect of the 9/11 devastation.  But, how much reason (i.e., intelligence) was involved in attaining an objective set forth ten years ago by President George W. Bush remains unclear.

The announcement from the Oval Office that bin Laden no longer drew breath was upstaged by the news media; they were the first to announce the assassination of Osama bin Laden.  Many Americans greeted this news as we would a World Series or Superbowl victory, with people gathering in the streets to whoop it up, giving the loser a raucous send-off.  I guess we can’t call him a winner once he was dispatched with a bullet in his brain.

Since the alleged shooting, the media has yet to loosen its fascination with the brute that engineered the collapse of the Twin Towers and the death of nearly 3,000 innocent souls in those structures.  TV broadcasters continue to have a field day airing the Who, What, Why, and Wherefore of the deceased.  Pundits spanning former military personnel to forensic doctors have expounded upon every aspect of bin Laden’s life.  And still the question arises as to, “Is he really dead?”   The question is understandable, given the lack of photographic evidence, not to mention the lack of a body.

At first, our Secretary of Defense, Gates, stated that photos of the dead bin Laden would not be aired because of security reasons.  Retaliation by radical Muslims was feared, but since when do radical Muslims need an actual reason to rape, pillage, and destroy?  And, as Rahm Emanuel stated, “Never let a crisis got to waste.”  So, at the behest of a news-hungry media, films of the circumstances surrounding bin Laden’s assassination are being doled out in episodes, like segments of a soap opera.

One commentator at Fox news asked Judge Jeanine Pirro who is eligible for the $25 million reward placed upon bin Laden’s head.  The official replied that, as this was a CIA venture, governmental employees were not eligible.  But, informed sources say that Kahlid Sheikh Mohammad, now a resident at Gitmo, has applied for the reward because he was the informant that led to bin Laden’s demise.

It is also rumored that he intends to use the money by offering it to Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, to have him released by an executive order.  In California’s current economic state, that’s 25 million good reasons to give him his freedom.  Remember that name, Rahm Emanuel, so that it’s familiar to you when you hear that he’s unleashed an American-financed massacre upon, you guessed it, Americans!

Another question, from Judge Pirro, was directed to Fox contributor forensic Dr. Badin (pronounced (Bahdin).  The question was, “How did they bury the body at sea?”  Badin’s answer was, “They dropped him in the ocean, probably with heavy weights, but at some future date it may wash ashore.”  Heck, I’m no forensic doctor but I could have answered that question.  The question I really wanted answered was, “If we had to treat the bastard to a cruise, why didn’t we take him alive and then drop him into shark infested waters?”

The questions emerging in the wake of bin Laden’s shooting are becoming increasingly ridiculous, as are many of the answers.  Picture a White House News conference where the reporters volley abstract questions like, “When did bin Laden first know of the attack?” or “How long did it take to gather the DNA evidence?” or, “Can you tell anyone tell whether he had his last bowel movement before or after the shooting?”  The questions are about as thought-provoking as those posed to a sports figure in a locker room after a game … any sports figure, any locker room, any game. 

And still I remain with my question unanswered: “How much intelligence went into the planning of taking bin Laden down?”

Maybe we should return to Webster’s second definition of intelligence, harkening back to an objective criteria.  The objective in this case was, after all, clear: get bin laden dead or alive, but preferably dead.  With that in mind, the next thing to consider was the question of who would take responsibility for putting a bullet through the bastard’s skull.  By assuming responsibility, the United States must heighten our vigilance against future terrorist attacks.  But if we blamed it on others, El Queda would vent its fury on the other party.

We could have blamed the Saudis, the Syrians, the Iranians, or even the Pakistanis by sending the reward money to a selected third party. We could have sent dead fish wrapped in a newspaper of the selected country, along with the reward, thus announcing that Osama sleeps with the fishes.  It would look like an inside job, because the other countries all knew where bin Laden was except us.  Thus, we could knock out another enemy without even lifting a finger.  Now that’s intelligence!  By using this strategy, we could have avoided condemnation and criticism from the UN, Middle Eastern countries, and Jihadist Muslims.  As the Pennsylvania Dutch would say “Vee get too shmart too late.” Since we claimed responsibility for putting out the hit on Osama, the cost of security has risen (remember Rahm Emanuel).

It seems that America wants to be transparent with every country in the world except America.  I think we need an intelligence agency that is more cost efficient and innovative when dispatching Public Enemy Number One, Number Two, Number Three, and so on. 

How Smart Are You?

Tags: , , ,

I'm With Stupid
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? is one of television’s most popular game shows.  But, the show merely tests factual knowledge.  Intelligence, however, is much more than knowing a few facts.  It establishes abilities to reason, plan, think abstractly, solve problems, comprehend ideas, use language, and learn.  In an effort to establish the intelligence level of the average Write On New Jersey reader, we have developed the following test.  So, relax, clear your mind, and begin:


1) What do you put in a toaster?


Answer:  “Bread.”  If you said “toast,” give up now and do something else.  Please try not to injure yourself in whatever else you may do.  If you said “bread,” accept our congratulations and continue to Number 2.


2) Say the word “silk” 5 times in rapid succession.  Now, spell the word “silk.”  Then, answer the following question:  What do cows drink?


Answer:  Cows drink “water.”  If you said “milk,” do not attempt the next question.  Your brain may overheat causing you to spontaneously combust.  Should such occurrence arise, stick your head in cold water and seek medical attention.  For those of you who have not flamed out, continue to Number 3.


3) If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, from what is a green house made?


Answer:  If you said “green bricks,” discontinue this test and do a little light reading; perhaps, Dr. Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham.”  If you correctly answered “glass,” proceed to Number 4.


4)  It’s more than 20 years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (if you recall, Germany at the time was divided into East Germany and West Germany).  During the flight, two of the plane’s three engines fail.  The pilot, realizing that the remaining engine is about to fail, decides on a crash landing procedure.  Unfortunately, the engine fails before he can do so, and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany.  Where would you bury the survivors:  East Germany, West Germany, or no man’s land?


Answer:  You don’t bury survivors.  If you said anything else, proceed to the nearest mental health facility.  If you answered correctly, advance to our final question.


5) For this exercise, do not use a calculator.  You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.  In London, 17 people board the bus.  In Reading, 6 people depart the bus and 9 passengers board.  In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 people get on.  In Cardiff, 11 people board and 16 people depart.  In Swansea, three people get off and 5 people get on.  In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.  You then arrive at your destination, Milford Haven.  What was the name of the bus driver?


Answer:  Oh really, you don’t know your own name.


Let us know your results by commenting below or contacting us with the percentage of correct answers (Be Honest!).  The winner will be the recipient of our coveted “Reader of the Year” Award.  In case of a tie, we will email a tie-breaking question to all prospective winners.

Site Sponsors

Site Sponsors

Site Sponsors

RSSLoading Feed...

Live Traffic Feed

RSSLoading Feed...