Multitudinous shopping malls, health spas and nail salons, tattoo parlors, universities, medical institutions, restaurants both fancy and casual, great beaches, well-manicured parks, Corporate America, and endless highways clogged with traffic … or a quiet rural setting with none of the above. Which would you choose? If you’ve chosen to reside in the Great Garden State, you have also chosen, along with the abovementioned amenities and frustrations, to live with a higher level of stress than your countrified neighbors.
Because this is the most densely populated State in the Union, and because many residents of New Jersey commute to work in New York or Pennsylvania, traffic is always jamming Jersey’s parkways and interstates. Add to this the years-long construction projects impacting what surely feels like every road, ramp, and intersection, and you can have what the Rolling Stones referred to as your Nineteen Nervous Breakdown. The mere act of sitting in your car, waiting for traffic to flow again, can be unnerving. Blaring horns and the stop and start of traffic as you creep along in search of the right exit are exacerbated by detours necessitated by the never-ending drilling and re-patching of highways. Add to this the inevitable cut-offs by drivers with kamikaze mentalities, and the Sunday drivers who think that the left lane has been created to maintain a steady cruise of 40-45 miles per hour, and you have a recipe for reducing your lifespan, literally.
Stress kills. Or rather, it kills us sooner than natural causes alone would. Under stress, levels of cortisol rise in our bodies. This hormone contributes to the accumulation of belly fat, sleepless nights, generally sluggish metabolisms, and a depressed point of view. Even strokes and heart attacks can sometimes result when our bodies and minds are stressed to the max like electrical systems on overload. On any normal day, we are always confronted with stress-generating issues. But now, the holidays are just around the corner, lurking not with visions of sugarplums, but with promises of increased anxiety.
Most of us are trying to figure out how to deal with all the extra planning, shopping, and work that seem to go hand in hand with a “successful” holiday. Saying “No!” to people and events who seek to pull us like taffy at the Jersey shore — and not apologizing for it — as well as cutting back on some cooking preparations will go a long way in easing some stress.
The intent behind and act of celebrating holidays are important. Holidays mark the special times in our lives, prompt us to gather with friends and family, look ahead to better days, and honor the good times that have gone by. However, to maintain our sanity, we need to put the brakes on. Heck, we can’t control traffic on the highways but we do have some control over what takes place under our own roofs.
Think about it. Did you really need that 20-pound turkey with all the trimmings last year? How often are you overrun with leftovers that go to waste after such a gut-busting feast? After a few days of turkey sandwiches, soups, or casseroles, you’ll think you’re about to morph into a gobbling bird yourself, and you’ll just toss out some of those leftovers. Overdoing side dishes and desserts just puts too much pressure on the cook, who must juggle pots and pans and turkey basters like a crazed circus entertainer, just to bring everything to the table on time. And of course, checking on the guests to be sure that everyone is happy is just what one needs (not!) while preparing a meal that would make King Henry VIII smack his chops in glee.
The joy of celebrating usually centers upon the preparation and enjoyment of food. But as the saying goes, less is more. Just running around buying groceries and planning the menu can be trying enough. If things are too much for you, ask for some help from the other guests; ask them each to bring a dish to your holiday feast. If you do this, some planning is necessary so that dishes are not duplicated and the work is not distributed unevenly (i.e., with your kid sister dumping a store bought box of corn mix into a bowl, adding a few eggs and calling it muffins while you slice and dice and sweat over a hot stove to whip up a fresh chestnut, apple, and wild rice-aborbio risotto that takes a few hours of prep time).
If the thought of asking people to bring food to your house seems a bit daunting, then simplify the menu. With the proper planning, some recipes can be made ahead, frozen, thawed, and heated with great success. Store bought items, such as rolls or pies, are also great time savers. As long as the meal is palatable and everyone has a good time, no one will complain about a few shortcuts.
While holidays only occur a few times a year, the routine of our jobs can grind away at us on a daily basis. How many times have you wished you could be Susan Powter, screaming for the insanity to stop? A lean economy means that those of us still employed are doing the work of several people, often simultaneously. Adrenaline, surging due to fear over a loss of income if we don’t pull our weight, propels us to perform at superhuman levels, until quitting time, which never comes fast enough. Then we go home, snap at our kids and spouses, sit in front of the boob tube, and get up again eight hours later (if we’re lucky) to do it all over again. Our blood pressure skyrockets, our breath grows short, those tension headaches mount like Vesuvius about to blow but still we plow on. When this happens, give the boss a wide berth; if not, your stress level will be as high as the Himalayan Mountains!
When the going got tough, I used to smoke. The act of lighting up a cigarette enabled me to escape my job for a few moments and grab a teeny-weeny bit of peace. But when chronic bronchitis came to pay me a visit too often, I finally gave up the “coffin nails” and freed myself of this unhealthy crutch. While I still sometimes think about lighting up again, I know that smoking is only going to relieve my stress for a few moments while permanently damaging my heart and lungs. So, I have started to step outside for a few minutes just for some fresh air or better yet, to take a short walk. I ask a co-worker to cover for me (and then return the favor) while I enjoy the sights of the turning, falling leaves and the little wild creatures that call Jersey home.
Those of us who don’t smoke may reach for food as an edge reducer. Sugar is the one substance that all human beings are born craving. Whether it is in its refined stage of, say, ice cream or chocolate, or is disguised in the form of a crunchy potato chip or a nice warm, cheesy slice of pizza, comfort food is all about instant gratification and closing the door, temporarily, on our stressors. We may wind up with digestive problems, more calories than we need equating to unwanted weight gain, and even the urge to down more bad carbs, but still we eat to forget and relax.
Sometimes, when I feel that I have a little too much on my plate … and not necessarily just my dinner plate … I find that a little pep talk, from myself and to myself, helps. Talking about my stressors out loud (usually not within earshot of anyone who may call out the men with the white coats to come and get me), can be empowering. Other people prefer to make lists, dividing the page into Pros and Cons so that they can actually see both sides of an issue. And prayer can be very soothing, as it is the act of giving up our troubles to the Lord. Simply praying to put one foot in front of the other in order to proceed can give us the strength to continue.
So, if you are like 99% of our population, watch your stress level. Don’t let it kill you, literally, and don’t let it rob you of the little joys that can be yours on a daily basis. If you feel that you are ready to short circuit, ask for help, physically and/or emotionally. It’s okay to reach out for help. We are, after all, human. If we weren’t, we’d be a more highly evolved life form that has learned how to eliminate stress altogether!
