Guest post by Jewel Cole

I have been using my clear 4g at home to play this game that I can’t STOP playing on my iPAD. I really wish that my sister hadn’t told me about it because every free minute that I get, I play the game! It is so much fun. I guess you could call it somewhat education too—but that is a stretch. The game is made by the same company that makes “Words with Friends” and “Hanging with Friends”. The game is called “Scramble with Friends” and use can use your same username for the application. At first I just tried out the free version, but love it so much that I paid to buy the app without advertisements where you are able to earn tokens to play the game two times as fast. What you do is play a two minute round. The first round is single score, the second is double score, and the third is a triple score. You try to make as many words as you possibly can and get as many points as you possible can. It is so addictive and fun. I haven’t liked a game this much since “Duck Hunt!”

Signing a contract to initiate and maintain wireless telephone service over a specified length of time is a bit like entering into a marriage contract.  You have high hopes that things will work out with your new spouse; you hope that the marriage lasts forever.  But should the marriage sour if, for instance, you find a new partner that you would rather be with, you and your original spouse must part ways.  Because you must break the marriage contract, the divorce must be done in a legally-sanctioned manner.  In extricating yourself from your spouse, the schism proves to be costly and time consuming.  Attorneys gobble up your money in legal fees and your spouse may claim a settlement in the divorce.

Wireless telephone contracts work much the same way.  If you find another carrier whose services are equal or superior to those of your current provider, you’ll want to “divorce” your original carrier.  But if you part ways before the contract is up, you’ll find yourself slapped with penalties.  And if you wish to avoid the penalties, you’ll be held hostage to your contract until it expires.  It’s a losing situation.

By contrast, virgin mobile offers major savings as well as freedom of choice.  Unlike other wireless carriers, Virgin Mobile is a prepaid cellular phone service.  Instead of paying a predetermined fee for unlimited calling, with Virgin Mobile, you only pay for the calls that you actually make.  How logical and cost-effective!  Because you are not compelled to sign a contract, you can say, “Adios” to Virgin Mobile at any time, without fear of early-withdrawal penalties.  However, you probably won’t want to leave, because Virgin Mobile offers more than great savings.  They provide the same state-of-the-art technology, including 3G web and data, wireless plans, or mobile broadband as their contract-driven competitors.  And, the phones themselves are very stylish.

Beyond all of this, the service is excellent.  Virgin Mobile was purchased by Sprint and therefore, capitalizes upon Sprint’s superior coverage.

The icing on top of this cake is even more savings.  Simply enter a promo code when you start your service, and reap even bigger savings.

Why stay with a partner you’ve outgrown?  Why remain with a wireless service that demands fees for minutes you don’t use, a service that also penalizes you for exercising your right to choose another carrier?  Why not check out Virgin Mobile today?

In an environment in which technology changes and improves seemingly overnight, consumers are often left holding the bag … the bag containing their outdated technological devices, that is.   The conundrum is what to do with those devices.  The most ecologically sound solution is to recycle the technology, particularly mobile phones, which represent an enormous chunk of the techno-market.  But since our mobile phones represent investments, many of us are hesitant to recycle them, or simply cannot afford to do so.

Savvy consumers, therefore, sell their outdated technology.  The Internet abounds with various avenues through which mobile phone users can do this.   However, research of myriad Internet sites can be confusing as well as time-consuming. That is why we are pleased to tell you about www.sellmymobile.com.  From time to time, Write On New Jersey prepares sponsored reviews of products, services, and websites that we feel may benefit our readers. Sellmymobile.com is one such website.  For those seeking to sell mobile phones at the highest possible price, Sellmymobile is an extremely valuable resource.

It compiles and compares purchasers of old mobile phones in a clear, concise — and most importantly, impartial — manner.  Consumers can thus make well-informed decisions much faster than if they were to conduct their own research.  The site furnishes both highest and lowest resale prices, and the difference between the two can be astounding.  For instance, a used Blackberry Curve 8520 can sell for as high as 50 Pounds Sterling and as low as 5 Pounds Sterling!  Why settle for the lowest price when you, the consumer, can do much better via sellmymobile’s unbiased comparisons?   The process is ever so simple and you’ll receive your money from the sale of your old phone very quickly.

The site is the Top Rated site of its kind in the United Kingdom, and not only for the key information that it provides.  It also ranks as Number One because it guarantees the prices listed on the site!  If you should sell your old mobile phone via a purchaser listed on the site and then find, up to 24 hours later, that you could have received a better price elsewhere, sellmymobile will refund you the difference. Please visit Sellmymobile.com today to capitalize upon this win-win situation.

Placing a loved one into a nursing home is a tough decision, and you need to be aware of the abuses that take place in nursing homes and know how to choose a quality facility.

Nursing Home Abuse

As sad as it is, nursing home abuse occurs every day and much more often than many of us know.  According to a 2008 Health and Human Services (HHS) report, 91 percent of nursing homes in the United States were found to have deficiencies.  A deficiency, as defined by HHS, is, “When a nursing home fails to meet one or more of the Federal requirements, surveyors cite a deficiency.  There are 190 possible deficiencies…”  Seventeen percent of nursing homes were found by HHS to have deficiencies that did or could have resulted in serious injuries to nursing home residents. 

In terms of nursing home abuse, women, older patients, and those patients with escalated physical and mental disabilities or illnesses are especially at risk.  Nursing home abuse takes place in 5 forms: physical, sexual, emotional, neglect, and financial.  Unfortunately, nursing homes demand for staff is unmet, thus nursing homes are understaffed.

Nearly 91 percent of nursing homes are understaffed.  As a result of understaffing, residents do not receive enough care time each day according to the HHS.¹  In 2002 the HHS² found that those in understaffed nursing facilities are, “more likely to experience bedsores, malnutrition, weight loss, dehydration, pneumonia and serious blood-borne infections.”  The understaffing problem is so evident that the Obama Administration has added multiple committees and services to its health care reform plan to encourage health professionals to work in nursing home facilities. 

An effect of understaffing is that many nursing homes, in grave need of staff, employ people with criminal records³.  The HHS reported in early 2011 that, “92 percent of nursing facilities employed at least one individual with at least one criminal conviction.”⁴  Only 7.7% of nursing homes didn’t employ a single employee with a criminal conviction.  Nearly 52% of nursing homes had between 1% and 5% of staff members with criminal convictions, and 26% had between 10% and 15% of staff members with criminal convictions. 

Choosing a Quality Facility

The above information is only the tip of the iceberg.  Given just that, it is abundantly clear that choosing a facility that will offer your loved one quality care is imperative; these are some of the steps one should take to ensure their loved one is in a quality facility:

1. Use Medicare.org’s Resources 

The Medicare website has several helpful resources to aid you in your search for the right facility for your loved one.  They have a “Nursing Home Checklist” for you to take with you when you visit facilities.  They also created a guide, i.e. “Your Guide to Choosing a Nursing Home,” that provides citizens with detailed information for choosing a nursing home.

2. Do Your Research 

There are tons of resources, both governmental and health related.  Here are a few:

Gero Nurse Online

Gero Nurse Online is the official website for the American Nurses Association’s Nurse Competence in Aging initiative.  It provides people with resources, up-to-date news, and various topic discussions on the world of nursing home care.  They provide you with important information that you may not think about when searching for a nursing home.  For instance, they recently posted a quick article about Disaster Preparedness, which is something you should discuss with the nursing homes you are considering.

CarePathways.com

After finding the internet to be a daunting place to get legitimate information on services, education, and products surrounding the nursing home industry, as well as information on nursing home facilities, a group of RN’s who specialized in geriatric care began to this website to aid those in need of such information.

3. Visit Your Potential Facilities 

Visiting is an imperative step in the selection process.  You need to feel that the environment is suitable for your loved one.  You should also ask as many questions as you can to get a feel for the staff and facility.  Trust your instincts; if you feel uneasy about a facility, there’s probably a reason for it.

Amber Paley is a guest post and article writer providing information on nursing home abuse and choosing a nursing home for a loved one.

Amber spends much of her professional life writing about nursing home abuse.

[1] “State-Initiated Nursing Home Nurse Staffing Ratios: Annotated Review of the Literature.” Office of the Assistant Secretary for Planning and Evaluation, HHS. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, May 2003. Web. 13 Dec. 2011. http://aspe.hhs.gov/daltcp/reports/2003/ratiolit.htm.

[2] Pear, Robert. “9 of 10 Nursing Homes in U.S. Lack Adequate Staff, a Government Study Finds – New York Times.” The New York Times – Breaking News, World News & Multimedia. 18 Feb. 2002. Web.

[3] Levinson, Daniel R. Memorandum Report: “Trends in Nursing Home Deficiencies and Complaints” Rep. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 18 Sept. 2008. Web. http://oig.hhs.gov/oei/reports/oei-02-08-00140.pdf.

[4] “NURSING FACILITIES’ EMPLOYMENT OF INDIVIDUALS WITH CRIMINAL CONVICTIONS.” Hhs.gov. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Mar. 2011. Web. http://oig.hhs.gov/oei/reports/oei-07-09-00110.pdf.

Posted by Hyman Weeks

Having kids has really sucked the life out of me and I wish I knew how to get back up and get out there so I can burn some of this baby weight off. I hate being fat and not feeling good about my body but I just don’t have the energy to get to the gym and work out like I used to. My days are filled with constant shuttling and making lunches and going to http://www.satellitetvfamily.com/satellite-tv-madison-wi to get the educational channels and I’m just too tired to do anything for myself, to tell you the truth. I wish I was able to make more time for my body and I know my husband would appreciate if I would care for my figure a bit more but there’s little I can say about that other than that I’d like to try harder in the future. I wish I wasn’t so sedentary but it’s tough when you’ve got triplets to find the time to brush your teeth much less go for a run, you know? 

With the start of a New Year, many of us have made resolutions to achieve goals that may have seemed illusive or even impossible in the past.  Among these are resolutions to maintain healthier lifestyles.  Inherent in this goal is the need to lose weight through a proper dietary plan, and medical science has done much to validate these objectives.  Numerous formal studies conducted by reputable hospitals, licensed physicians, and pharmaceutical companies have established definitive links between obesity and a wide range of adverse medical conditions.  These include and are not limited to diabetes, hypertension and stroke, and cardiac problems.

In addition to these maladies, those who are overweight often experience prejudice, particularly in the job market.  Given the current unemployment rate and the very real health risks associated with obesity, the objective to lose weight in the New Year is extremely compelling.  The problem, however, is how to achieve the goal.

While dieting offers a pathway, the current plethora of diets is often confusing.  Is one diet truly more effective than the other?  What are the requirements of each diet?  And how does one choose the plan that best fits one’s own needs?  Thankfully, there is a website that provides comprehensive information, for the average consumer, concerning the most popular diets.  That site is puntofape.com

If you, dear reader, are interested in exploring Dieta Atkins (the Atkins Diet), the site will assist you with a mere click of the mouse.  Before the emergence of most of the current diets, Doctor Atkins had configured and later redesigned his plan primarily around the intake of protein and certain fruits and vegetables.  In existence for more than 30 years, Dieta Atkins has been exceptionally popular with several generations of dieters, who have found the plan successful.

If you prefer an eating plan that is less restrictive, yet proven to be effective, educate yourself concerning dieta mediterranea (the Mediterranean Diet).  Since the days of the ancient Romans and earlier, this eating plan is simple, exceptionally healthy, and beneficial in terms of weight loss.   Proteins, with emphasis on fish and poultry, are combined with “good carbs” such as legumes and whole grains, most vegetables, and many fruits to form the basis of a highly effective, easy-to-follow eating plan that will assist you in losing weight and maintaining good health.

For those of you who desire a more rapid weight loss plan, the site furnishes information concerning dieta Fricker (the Fricker Diet). Included is a primer about how this diet impacts your metabolism to help you drop pounds relatively quickly.

Along with the data concerning these diets, the site also provides helpful tips concerning fitness and exercise, general nutrition, and much more.  Please visit puntofrape.com today and educate yourself as to how to take the first step toward a slimmer, healthier you. 

My little niece, now 22 years old, has always run to extremes.  In her academic career, she’s consistently ranked among the top 5% of her class, even in Physics, her “bear” subject.  Jaimie* even earned a partial scholarship to Columbia University, to pursue her Master’s degree, but in typical Jaimie fashion, chose a much smaller, non-Ivy League school closer to home.  Her clothing, makeup, accessories, and techno-gadgets, ever since I can remember, are the prettiest, the best, the most current.  Anything else, she’s eschewed with the snobbery mustered only by the young and uber-confident.  About six years ago, my niece latched onto another extreme in her eating habits.

Red meat has not touched her lips in all that time.  Fat is avoided at all costs, unless it is “good fat,” such as that provided by salmon, tuna, or halibut (and she won’t eat much of the latter two, due to the threat of mercury).  She shops at the wonderful and costly Whole Foods® whenever possible, though there is but one such store in her area, and even that is located a distance from her home.  Jaimie’s daily, no bad carbs diet consists of the following, in this exact order:

1. Oatmeal with skim milk, nuts, and fruits (no sweetener of any kind, not even Agave nectar).

2. An organic apple with all-natural almond butter

3. A cup of plain Greek yogurt with fresh or dried blueberries

4. Another piece of fruit of her choosing, organic, of course

5. Multitudinous vegetables for dinner with approximately 3 ounces of lean protein

On New Year’s Eve, I watched my niece, who is 5’6″ without an ounce of discernable fat on her frame, who enjoys running, and who is not, thank God, anorexic, gobble two cookies and then beat herself up about it.   I told her to forgive herself, for it was a small discretion committed on a holiday.  I said this as I popped the pills that I am compelled to take nightly, to counteract allergies, asthma, and another health issue that, if not properly managed, can be significant.

At three o’clock on the morn of the brand new year, after kissing my niece and the rest of the family goodbye, I arrived home to a small miracle.  My older kitty, who has not been doing well, was not only eating on her own, unassisted, she was eating the healthiest food of all: her new, lower-protein kibble that she has been unable to manage of late.  My husband and I had consulted a homeopathic vet for her earlier that same day, a vet who’d put our girl on all-natural whey protein and who showed us an easier way to give her the necessary fluids via IV.

I awoke on January 1st thinking that none of this could be a coincidence, including the date on the calendar portending a new start.

Maybe Jaimie isn’t such an extremist, after all; surely, she will be healthier than her aunt as well as a lot of others who are not as conscious of their diet and exercise.  And methinks the homeopathic vet is on to something, particularly considering that the state-of-the-art veterinary service we’d consulted previously had sent my husband and me home to sit a deathwatch on our beloved cat.

I am the first one to use and promote homeopathic products (i.e., salt or honey to close small wounds, a Netty Pot® to clear stuffy sinuses, red wine to stave off macular degeneration).  But I could be better about my overall diet, and in fact, I was, when I was diagnosed early this year with the afore-mentioned condition.  I actually love healthy foods but don’t eat enough of them.

In the manner of many Italian-Americans, I’d cooked three fish salads for this New Year’s Eve celebration, knowing that they and their leftovers would be both tasty and extremely healthy.  But my husband had picked up small trays of eggplant rollatini and stuffed shells at a local salameria, so that I would not have to cook for New Year’s Day.  As I scooped out the rich food to warm it up, I pulled off all of the external mozzarella, thinking, “That stuff is going right into our arteries.”   By the time I was done with the mozzarella, I didn’t even want to eat the food, but neither did I want to waste our hard-earned money.

“There’s a healthier way to do both dishes,” I thought, “and I’m going to find them.”   Small changes, over time, will yield big results.  Rarely do I make New Year’s resolutions, for rarely do I keep them.  But with Jaimie and our rallying kitty for inspiration, I made the resolution to treat my husband and myself better this year in terms of the foods that we consume and the amount of exercise in which we engage.  I think we can do it.  And I think we’re going to have a happier, much healthier New Year for it … ancient Mayan prophesies notwithstanding! 

*  A pseudonym, to protect my niece’s privacy.

The Feast of the Seven Fishes (la festa dei sette pesci), celebrated on Christmas Eve, also known as The Vigil (La Vigilia), is believed to have originated in Southern Italy. Today, it is a feast that typically consists of seven different seafood dishes (although some families may change the number to nine or eleven). This Feast takes me back to my childhood during the Great Depression.  If you want your family to enjoy a traditional Italian Christmas Eve dinner, you’ll have to prepare the following:

Warm Seafood Salad

Ingredients

12 mussels cleaned. Scrubbed  and rinsed

6 baby octopus, boiler 45 minutes with cork and cooled

12 Prawns (large shrimp), peeled and developed

4 small squid peeled and cleaned whole, the cut with scissors into rings

2 scallions thinly sliced

4 tbsp red wine vinegar

1 cup extra- virgin olive oil

1 tbsp hot red pepperoncini flakes

¼ cup fresh mint leaves

1 cup of parsley

2 cut lemons

Salt & fresh ground pepper

Kosher salt

Preparation

Bring 2 quarts of water to a boil, add 1 tsp salt and 1 tbsp of red wine vinegar, add mussels, octopus, and prawns and boil for 1 minute.  The prawns will redden and mussels will start to open.  Add squid and continue cooking until squid becomes translucent (a few minutes).  Drain mixture into a warm bowl.  Add scallions, vinegar, olive oil, salt and pepper, and mint.  Toss to mix and coat.  Add parsley and toss again.  Serve with lemon wedges and kosher salt.  Voila!

Mussels Marinara

Ingredients

1 cup of olive oil

2 red onions finely chopped

6 cloves of garlic minced

8 dozen mussels, de-bearded well scrubbed and rinsed

2 cans of beer

2 large cans of whole tomato squeezed

3 tbsp of kosher salt

3 tbsp of cracked black pepper

1 cup of fresh basil leaves

1 lb. Linguine

Preparation

Heat oil in a large stock pot.  Gently saute onions and garlic till golden brown.  Add mussels, beer, tomatoes, salt, pepper and fresh basil.  Cover pot and simmer until mussels open.  Remove mussels to serving plate, (discard unopened mussels).  Spoon sauce over mussels and linguine.  Serve hot.

Jumbo Shrimp Marsala

Ingredients

1 cup of extra virgin olive oil

1 medium red onion diced

1 rib of celery with leaves cut in 1 inch pieces

1 can of diced tomato

1 tbsp of pine nuts

2 tbsp of capers rinsed and drained

1 cup of Marsala wine

½ tsp of fennel seed

2 lbs of Large shrimp / prawns peeled and de-veined

salt and fresh ground pepper

Preparation

In a 10-12 inch sauce pan,heat oil over medium – high, heat until almost smoking, add onions and celery and cook until softened.  Add tomatoes, pine nuts, capers, Marsala wine and fennel seed.  Bring to a boil, then remove pan from heat and layer shrimp in tomato mixture and add bread crumbs.  Cover pan and simmer (low heat) for 4 minutes.  Remove from heat and salt and pepper to taste.  Allow to stand 5 minutes covered.  Serve warm or room temperature.

Clams with Oregano & Bread Crumbs
(Vongole Oreganata)

Ingredients

24 littleneck clams (medium)

½ cup of extra-virgin olive oil

4 cloves of garlic, crushed

2 cups of bread crumbs

kosher salt & fresh ground pepper

2 tbsp of oregano

Preparation

Carefully open clams, saving the liquid in a bowl.  Discard top shells, loosen but do not remove clams from bottom shells.  Arrange clams in a 10-12 inch pan.  Heat oil over medium heat till just smoking.  Add garlic and cook till softened.  Add bread crumbs.  Cook till golden brown (3 minutes).  Remove mixture from heat and salt and pepper.  Allow to cool.  Stir in reserve liquid and oregano.  Preheat broiler (350), add 2 tsp of mixture to each clam and broil for 2 minutes or until golden brown.  Drizzle with extra oil and serve.

Grilled Smelts with Lima Beans

Ingredients

1 cup of Lima Beans (soaked overnight in 6 cups of water)

1 medium red onion thinly sliced

1 bunch of mint (leaves only)

1 cup of olive oil

2 tbsp of hot pepper flakes

1 tsp of capers

1 ½ lbs of fresh cleaned smelts

3 tbsp of red wine vinegar

1 head of Frisee lettuce (washed & spun dry)

2 tbsp of chili oil

Preparation

Drain soaked beans, place in pot with 4 quarts of water, and bring to a boil.  Lower heat and simmer until tender.  Drain and cool.  Place cool beans in a mixing bowl.  Add onions, mint, and ½ cup of olive oil.  Season with salt and pepper.  Toss to coat and set aside.  Place remaining oil in a blender, add chili, oil pepper flakes and capers and blend until smooth.  Pour mixture in a bottle with cap and set aside.  Preheat grill.  Place cleaned smelts on hottest part of grill and cook thoroughly (1 minute per side).  Meanwhile, add vinegar to bean mixture and coat salad (toss to mix) and place on platter.  Remove fish from grill and arrange around salad and serve.

Oysters, Spinach and Pancetta Gratin

Ingredients

12 large oysters

2 oz pancetta (bacon), chopped

1 tbsp of olive oil

3 tbsp of butter

1 shallot minced

10 oz of spinach (frozen)

½ cup of bread crumbs

hot sauce to taste (optional)

Preparation

Preheat oven 400 degrees F.  Shuck oysters and separate them from shells (discard top shells and reserve liquid set aside).  In a skillet, saute pancetta till brown (4 minutes), add shallots, defrosted spinach, and 2 tbsp of butter.  Stir while sauteing for few minutes, add a dash of hot sauce, stir and set aside.  Melt remaining butter in skillet, then remove from heat and add bread crumbs and some of reserve liquid to moisten bread crumbs.  Place oyster shells on a baking sheet and spoon spinach mixture on each shell and top with an oyster.  Sprinkle bread crumb mix on top of oysters.  Bake 3-4 minutes until bread crumbs are golden brown.  Serve immediately.

Baccala in Red Sauce
(Cod Fish in Red Sauce)

Ingredients

4 lbs of salt cod fish cut in 3” pieces

3 tbsp of olive oil

1 large onion, chopped

1 bunch of celery cut in 3” pieces

2 cups of Gaeta olives

2 cups of white wine

4 cans of San Marzano tomatoes

10 cups of chicken broth

8-10 potatoes diced

Chopped parsley leaves

salt & pepper to taste

Preparation

Soak cod fish in water 3 days (refrigerate) to get rid of excess salt, change water twice a day.  3 days later, in a large casserole, heat oil, and saute onions and celery until golden brown.  Add olives and wine.  Then reduce by half, stir in tomatoes and broth, and bring to a boil.  Reduce heat to simmer.  Add potatoes and codfish.  Cook until codfish breaks with fork and potatoes are tender, add parsley and seasonings, and serve over your favorite pasta.

PLEASE NOTE: This feast is not be confused with the fishes and barley loaves of the Biblical stories and should be eaten by sampling each dish and not gorging yourself into oblivion.  Remember a little bit of this feast goes along way, please pass the Briosche!

Today, my mother turned 86 years young.  I called her to wish her a happy birthday and somehow, we got onto the topic of politics.  History has taught me nothing, for it’s impossible to have a serious discussion with my mother, the female Yogi Bera and soul sister to Lucille Ball.  This morning, I pontificated, “It’s not possible to run for public office in this country unless you’re filthy rich!”  A heartbeat later, my mother’s asked sweetly, “Oh, when did that change?”

My mother’s comedy routines began in early childhood.  It’s not that she set out to make people laugh; it’s just that … like certain angels … trouble simply followed her.  Hilarious trouble!

At the tender age of nine, my mom was a product of extreme poverty.  The Great Depression and my grandfather’s illness meant no luxuries of any kind, for it was a struggle in those days for my grandmother, the sole breadwinner, to put food on the table, pay the rent, and clothe her family.  Understandably, when my mom’s Uncle Dan pulled up in front of her brownstone one day in a shiny brand new car, she thought she’d landed in Oz’s Emerald City.   My mother’s aunts were already crammed into the car’s front and back seats, but Uncle Dan rolled down the window and hollered for his young niece to hop into his new jalopy.  She didn’t need a second invitation for her very first ride in an automobile.

As the aunts yammered on excitedly, Dan made a rather sharp turn at a corner.  Like kids piled into a carnival ride, the aunts all shifted en masse … against my mother.  Under their combined weight, the door flew open, my 9-year-old mom rolled into a puddle, and the aunts continued to chatter on, oblivious to their loss.  Dan had his eyes on the road ahead of him, not the puddle behind him.  No one missed my mother as the car rolled blithely along with the passenger door flung gregariously wide.

A few minutes later, a wet and very ticked-off little Mary came up to the car, wind-milling her arms and legs and hollering at the top of her lungs at her stunned relatives, who blamed her for the tumble.  My mother was completely unharmed, for as she often says, “Thank God I was born with a hard head!”  Hard as it was, that head still gave her some trouble.

At the age of twelve, tomboy Mary was playing in the street (probably the same one into which she’d rolled three years earlier).  As it was not considered “lady like” to play where cars rolled by and horses clopped, all the other kids on that street were boys, including my mom’s two brothers.  Now, my Uncle Vince had a good friend nicknamed Whitey.  The reasons for his nickname were his platinum blond hair and pale blue eyes.  In an Italian-American neighborhood, the fair Whitey stuck out like a sore thumb — but his looks were not his only distinction.

Whitey, though young, was already in possession of two JD (Juvenile Delinquent) cards, courtesy of the NYPD.  New York City law demanded that if a boy incurred three JD cards, he’d become a guest of the State.  Unruly boys were jailed in those days.  And these were real jails, not today’s politically correct holding pens where perps “get religion” and subsequent early release.

That day, Whitey the JD was amusing himself by tossing rocks around.  He knew not to aim at the other kids or the windows on the brownstones.  Being a city kid with no pond upon which to skim stones, he was flinging rocks at nothing in particular.

My mother had just finished chalking up the street with a hopscotch diagram.  She straightened up to proudly admire her handiwork.  In the instant that she did, she caught one of Whitey’s rocks right in her third-eye chakra: smack between her eyes.  Under the impact, she swooned to the ground like a Victorian maiden, bleeding profusely.  Housewives hanging out of windows screamed bloody murder.  They screamed for my grandmother.  Whitey turned even whiter and ran for the hills, not even stopping to see if he’d done away with my mother.  Quick like bunnies, my uncles snatched up my mom and ran with her straight to the pharmacy, with my screaming/praying grandmother in tow.  In those days, few people had money for doctors, so pharmacists filled the bill except in the direst of emergencies.

Bleeding and woozy from her ordeal, my mother endured the two stitches that the pharmacist put in her head.  As if sewing up a hole in a sock, he was not artful as a physician would have been.  His handiwork would leave a scar between my mother’s eyes in the shape of Jesus’ cross, an appropriate and most noticeable symbol for one pulled all too often out of harm’s way.   Whether out of guilt or pity, the pharmacist then handed my mother a cool, delicious ice cream cone, free of charge.  Ice cream, a costly luxury, was never, ever seen in her home.  Immediately, her brothers commandeered the treat, telling their injured sister between licks that she was too ill to eat the cone!

Whitey vanished into thin air.  For years, no one had seen him or heard from him, not his family and not even my Uncle Vince, who had been his close friend.

When my mom was all grown up and working in the department store in which she was destined to meet my dad, management put her behind the sweater counter, selling fine women’s sweaters sewn with sequins and other feminine embellishments of the day.  She was a natural saleswoman, warm and friendly with customers.  Hardly anyone walked away from her counter without making a purchase.

One day, a couple strolled into her department.  As the woman examined the sweaters my mother had placed on the counter, my mom took a good long look at the man.  Something about him nagged at her as she struggled to recall a childhood face matured into that of a man.  Suddenly, it dawned.  “Whitey!” my mother exclaimed.  Instantly, Whitey turned, well, white.  “You — you must have mistaken me for someone else,” he stammered.

“You mean you don’t remember me?” my mother asked incredulously. “I’m Mary, Vince’s sister, from the old neighborhood.”  “I’m sorry; you’ve mistaken me for someone,” Whitey insisted again, guilt written in his pale blue eyes and the blush creeping up into his platinum blond hair.

“Oh yeah?” my mother countered in her best Edward G. Robinson voice.  Pointing to the cross between her eyes, she demanded, “Did you forget this as well?!?  You put it there!”  At that, Whitey snatched the sweater out of his wife’s hands, tossed it onto the counter, and hauled her out of the store as if his butt were on fire.  Across the selling floor, my mother’s department manager was stunned.  “You didn’t make that sale,” the woman said in surprise.  “That man looked as if he’d seen a ghost.  What did you say to him?”  “Beats me,” my mother shrugged innocently.

Like Ricky Ricardo’s Lucy, my mother was always getting herself into a pickle.  She had a real problem with doors that locked, particularly bathroom doors.  Being a modest woman, she insisted upon locking those doors. But being mechanically inept, she also managed to lock herself into a number of bathrooms in her lifetime.

When I was eleven years old and suffering from the flu, she did just that.  A frantic pounding and howling from behind the bathroom door roused me out of bed.  Hot with fever, I told her not to worry, that I’d phone my dad.  When I did, he snapped, “Deal with it!  I’m at the office; I’m trying to earn a paycheck here!”  “Hang on,” I told my mom, “I’ll go get Grandma and Grandpa.”

My grandparents lived in the apartment below us; it was their house.  My grandfather was more meticulous than Felix Unger could ever hope to be.  To give you but one example of his fastidiousness, my grandfather ironed and folded rags! That day, he and my Gran were hanging wallpaper that had a very distinct pattern; one screw-up and their walls would have looked like hell.  “I’m hanging wallpaper here,” my grandfather insisted. “So? Your mother’s always locking herself into bathrooms!”

With no hope on the horizon, I shuffled upstairs in my bathrobe and leaned against the bathroom door — wherein, my mother was having a very serious panic attack, for she was claustrophobic.  Like Dracula’s Renfeld harnessed into a straightjacket, she was working herself into a real lather … except that my mother’s straightjacket was a locked bathroom door.

Rationally, I told her, “Ma, you’ll be okay.  You have running water if you’re thirsty.  You have a toilet if you have to go.  And you have a window for fresh air.  Go open it and take a good deep breath.  Ma … you opened the window?”

“Yes.  Thanks.  You’re so calm!”

Of course I was; I had a fever of 101^○.  “Don’t worry,” I soothed. “I’m gonna call the Fire Department now.  They’ll bring a ladder and you can climb down.”

“Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!” she shrieked.  “I’m afraid of heights!!!!!!!!!!!”

“Ma.  We’re only two stories up.”

“I am not climbing down that ladder!!!!”

“Okay, then stay there ’til Daddy gets home.”  It was ten thirty in the morning, and Daddy would not be home until about 6 PM, if the subway gods were kind.

“Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!”

Summoned by the screams through the open window, my grandparents had left their glue pots and curling wallpaper to check out the situation.  “Break the door down, Grandpa,” I suggested mildly, suddenly wanting to see some action.  My grandfather looked at me as if I’d lost my mind.  “You know I just painted that door last month.  I’m not ruining my house!”

Thus at a loss, he consulted the neighbors.  In a matter of minutes, every neighbor on the block was convened outside my bathroom door.  This meeting of the minds included Mike, a convivial little terrier of a man who lived directly behind us and was rumored to like his booze.  Come to think of it, Mike did smell a tad medicinal that day. “Don’t worry, Mary,” he said to the door, “we’ll just remove the door frame, get at the hinges, and take ‘em off.”

“Over my dead body!” thundered my granddad.  From behind the door, my mother alternately moaned, screamed, and supplicated as if she were being dismembered.  I eyed my grandfather knowingly. “You’ll never get that room wallpapered at this rate, Grandpa.”

“What else ya got?” he then demanded of Mike.

“Nuthin’,” Mike shrugged.  Neither did anyone else.  They wound up removing the frame and the hinges, after all, and then replacing everything.  When my dad got home, he arrived suspicious, for my mother, as I’d said, had had problems with bathroom locks all her life.  He walked into the bathroom, locked the door behind him, and then jiggled the lock, as you would a thing that has a tendency to stick.  It opened easily!

My mother was so grateful to Mike that, after her escape, she ran to the fridge to liberate the lone can of beer in there (my family were not big drinkers).  She tossed the can over the fence to Mike, who caught it with a gleam in his eye.  A few minutes later, our phone rang.  It was Mike.  “Mary,” he drawled, “you lobbed that beer at me like Whitey Ford pitchin’ a ball.  It exploded all over my kitchen ceiling!”

Trouble follows some angels, yes.  But even some angels are afraid to tread where my mother goes!

As the crunch to purchase Christmas presents tightens, so do our wallets.   Our money only goes so far, particularly in this economy.  But that fact doesn’t stop the holidays from coming.  Nor does it dampen our wishes to see the smiles on the faces of our loved ones as they tear into their long-awaited presents.  That’s why we’re so grateful for websites that offer discounts for online shopping, with quick and easy access to the promotions of purveyors of a plethora of goods.  The very best of these sites, Best Online Coupons, is aptly named.

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