Security Doors and Spontaneous Human Combustion

Posted on 05 April 2012


You may think the title of this post makes no sense.  But, follow along and you may be amused.


When I moved my office to its current building, I was intrigued by the security door at the top of the stairs leading to its second floor location.  During my visit to the building prior to my decision to relocate there, the landlord proudly pointed to the security door (a sliding glass door requiring coded entry after normal business hours) as a significant advantage to renting the space he was about to show me.


Less than a month after renting the office, as I was ascending the stairs, I was greeted by the sliding portion of the door swung open off of its track and the following handwritten note taped to the door:


“Do not close door.  Has to be reset.”


More than three years later, the door remains open and inoperable – not that it really matters to me.  It has, however, become a source of amusement as a running joke between me and the attorney down the hall.  Because it blocks access to the handrail for several steps, however, it has become more than just a joke as a tenant in the building actually fell down the steps a while back.  Fortunately, he was uninjured.


Last summer, the compressor for the air conditioning unit servicing this portion of the building broke down.  Some type of technician came and jury-rigged the system permitting some level of cooling in the affected part of the building.  At that time, the landlord informed those of us concerned that a new compressor had been ordered.  Eight months later, that compressor remains – to my knowledge – “on order” and has been added to the security door as a subject of amusement (although, when the weather really heats up, I doubt that we will be laughing about it).


Recently, the attorney has affixed some “Tripping Hazard” and “High Temperature” warning placards that he printed off the Internet to the door.  For my part, I taped two tongue-in-cheek notices on either side of the original handwritten notice.  I hope you enjoy them.






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2 Responses to “Security Doors and Spontaneous Human Combustion”

  1. scotty says:


  2. Lynn says:

    I too had an office in a building that was poorly maintained and wish I had thought to do something like this. This is hilarious stuff!

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