Pope Plots Changes to Roman Catholic Mass

Posted on 16 March 2010

While many Americans concern themselves with the blatant disregard for the U.S. Constitution demonstrated by liberal Democrats in attempting to ram healthcare reform legislation through Congress, the news from Rome is even more shocking!

In the most sweeping changes to Roman Catholic worship since The Second Ecumenical Council of the Vatican (more commonly known as Vatican II), Pope Benedict XVI – only the eighth person of German heritage to ascend to the Chair of Saint Peter – in an effort to bolster attendance at Mass has dictated the replacement of wine and bread with beer and pretzels as the Communion offerings.

In pictures secretly transmitted to Write On New Jersey by a source at the Vatican, the Pope demonstrates the consecration of the beer and pretzels to assembled clergy.

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3 Responses to “Pope Plots Changes to Roman Catholic Mass”

  1. Suds Miller says:

    What a great idea who would have thought of consecrated beer and pretzels. Imagine the new beer ads with heavenly slogans, like “In heaven there is no beer that’s why we drink it here” and just before St. Patrick’s Day,should fill the confessionals, pews and the coffers of the house of the Lord

  2. Fred says:

    That is sooo sad to be blaspheming the holy sacrifice of the mass>:( We live in a sick world now.

  3. Michael says:

    This is a sad attempt at humor. No other instance is as important to humans as the body and blood of Christ.

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