I received the following in an email.  Enjoy!

1. If time doesn’t wait for you, don’t worry!  Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life!

2. Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is like expecting a lion not to attack because you are a vegetarian.

3. Beauty isn’t measured by outer appearance and the clothes we wear, but what we are inside.  So, try going out naked tomorrow and experience the admiration!

4. Don’t walk as if you rule the world.  Walk as if you don’t care who rules the world!  That’s called Attitude.  Keep on rockin’!

5. Every woman hopes that her daughter will marry a better man than she did and is convinced that her son will never find a wife as good as his father did!

6. He was a good man.  He never smoked, drank, or had an affair.  When he died, the life insurance company refused the claim.  They said, “he who never lived cannot die!”

7. So many options for suicide:  poison, sleeping pills, hanging, jumping from a building, lying on train tracks, etc.  But, we chose Marriage, the slow and sure route.

8. Only 20% of boys have brains.  The rest have girlfriends!

9. All desirable things in life are either illegal, banned, expensive, or married to someone else!

10. “Drinking is our biggest enemy” – Jawaharlal Nehru.  “We should learn to love our enemies” – Mahatma Gandhi.  Now, whom should we follow and which should we choose?

11. 10% of motor vehicle accidents are due to drunken driving.  That means that it is logical to conclude that 90% of accidents are due to driving without drinking!