For all the guys out there who have struggled to understand women, I think the writing that follows will strike a harmonious chord.  I received this in an email and do not know the author.

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman,
If you don’t, you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are lying,
If you don’t, you are good for nothing.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp,
If you don’t, you are ‘not understanding.’

If you visit her often, you are boring,
If you don’t, she accuses you of double  crossing.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy,
If you don’t, you are a dull boy.

If you are jealous, she says it is bad,
If you aren’t, she thinks you don’t love her.

If you attempt a romance, she says you don’t respect her,
If you don’t, she thinks you don’t like her.

If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait,
If she is late, she says it’s a girl’s way.

If you visit other men, you are not putting in quality time,
If she is visited by other women, “Ah!  It’s natural, we are girls.”

If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold.
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage.

If you fail to help he cross the street, you lack ethics,
If you do, she thinks it’s just one of men’s tactics for seduction.

If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting,
If she is stared by a man, she says that he is just admiring.

If you talk, she wants you to listen,
If you listen, she wants you to talk.

In short:

So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful.