How Smart Are You?

Posted on 17 September 2009

I'm With Stupid
Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? is one of television’s most popular game shows.  But, the show merely tests factual knowledge.  Intelligence, however, is much more than knowing a few facts.  It establishes abilities to reason, plan, think abstractly, solve problems, comprehend ideas, use language, and learn.  In an effort to establish the intelligence level of the average Write On New Jersey reader, we have developed the following test.  So, relax, clear your mind, and begin:


1) What do you put in a toaster?


Answer:  “Bread.”  If you said “toast,” give up now and do something else.  Please try not to injure yourself in whatever else you may do.  If you said “bread,” accept our congratulations and continue to Number 2.


2) Say the word “silk” 5 times in rapid succession.  Now, spell the word “silk.”  Then, answer the following question:  What do cows drink?


Answer:  Cows drink “water.”  If you said “milk,” do not attempt the next question.  Your brain may overheat causing you to spontaneously combust.  Should such occurrence arise, stick your head in cold water and seek medical attention.  For those of you who have not flamed out, continue to Number 3.


3) If a red house is made from red bricks, and a blue house is made from blue bricks, and a pink house is made from pink bricks, and a black house is made from black bricks, from what is a green house made?


Answer:  If you said “green bricks,” discontinue this test and do a little light reading; perhaps, Dr. Seuss’ “Green Eggs and Ham.”  If you correctly answered “glass,” proceed to Number 4.


4)  It’s more than 20 years ago, and a plane is flying at 20,000 feet over Germany (if you recall, Germany at the time was divided into East Germany and West Germany).  During the flight, two of the plane’s three engines fail.  The pilot, realizing that the remaining engine is about to fail, decides on a crash landing procedure.  Unfortunately, the engine fails before he can do so, and the plane fatally crashes smack in the middle of “no man’s land” between East Germany and West Germany.  Where would you bury the survivors:  East Germany, West Germany, or no man’s land?


Answer:  You don’t bury survivors.  If you said anything else, proceed to the nearest mental health facility.  If you answered correctly, advance to our final question.


5) For this exercise, do not use a calculator.  You are driving a bus from London to Milford Haven in Wales.  In London, 17 people board the bus.  In Reading, 6 people depart the bus and 9 passengers board.  In Swindon, 2 people get off and 4 people get on.  In Cardiff, 11 people board and 16 people depart.  In Swansea, three people get off and 5 people get on.  In Carmathen, 6 people get off and 3 get on.  You then arrive at your destination, Milford Haven.  What was the name of the bus driver?


Answer:  Oh really, you don’t know your own name.


Let us know your results by commenting below or contacting us with the percentage of correct answers (Be Honest!).  The winner will be the recipient of our coveted “Reader of the Year” Award.  In case of a tie, we will email a tie-breaking question to all prospective winners.

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4 Responses to “How Smart Are You?”

  1. Lanini says:

    great information!

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