Is This Any Way to Run a Car Company?

Posted on 02 June 2009


yugo

 

The government takeover of General Motors presents a number of interesting possibilities.  Now that “We the People” own a 60% stake in the new Government Motors, we can utilize this opportunity to effect positive change.  The following are a few of my thoughts on changes we can make right away:

 

First, let’s merge all of the Government Motors brands into one and give it a name indicating that these vehicles are produced by American and for Americans.  With a name like “GoMoUSA,” we can all rally round our new national car company.  Perhaps, we could develop a catchy jingle like “Come away with me Lucille, in my merry ‘GoMobile.'”

 

Second, since we are now all “owners” of the company, we should now receive preferential treatment.  As you drive by a dealership, you will understand that it is your dealership.  Should you need to borrow a vehicle for the weekend, you should be able to do so.  These company cars should be available to anyone who needs them.  And, when you decide to purchase a vehicle, you, as a citizen, should get a great deal – at least, 60% off MSRP!

 

Third, now that we own Government Motors, we should dictate that all vehicles purchased by federal, state, and local governments and government agencies be “GoMo’s.”  If we’re spending taxpayer dollars, shouldn’t we be buying vehicles manufactured by a taxpayer-funded enterprise?

 

Fourth, we can all breathe a sigh of relief in the certain knowledge that our elected representatives and other government officials will see to it that our national car company will produce vehicles of the highest quality and those most in demand by our people.  Like the government-dominated company that brought us the Yugo, our vehicles will be on the cutting edge of technology and the most environmentally-friendly automobiles in the world.

 

Fifth, in President Obama, we have the perfect leader to revolutionize the auto industry.  As a community organizer, I’m sure he learned a great deal about automotive engineering, or at the very least, changed a few flat tires.

 

And finally, since the “GoMo” will be backed by the full faith and credit of the United States Government, we can be certain that our car warranties will be ironclad.  Run with the efficiency for which our federal government has been renowned, our national car company will have a service, warranty, and recall hotline directly into the White House.  There, Michelle, Sasha, Malia, and Michelle’s mom, Mrs. Robinson, will be there 24 hours per day to answer any and all of your technical questions.  And, the Secretary of Transportation will get some much needed assistance in the form of Undersecretaries handling such sensitive national priorities as Sales, Service, and Express Lube and Oil Change.

 

All in all, I think that our government’s takeover of General Motors is a great idea.  Now, if only we could nationalize the postal industry, maybe I might get my mail on time.





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5 Responses to “Is This Any Way to Run a Car Company?”

  1. T-Bone says:

    Bravo

  2. Kimmie says:

    It’s a beautiful dream but it would never happen.

  3. Cory Eustice says:

    good topic. i like the blog

  4. Henry McCullough says:

    Knock KnockWhos there !Abel !Abel who ?Abel to see you, ha, ha!…

  5. Britt Chapelle says:

    I do agree. Thanks for the post.


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